Tag Archive: high heels


WHEN TRACEY MET MICK

I never have been what you might call a ladies man.

For years I cursed the guys my age who seemed to get laid regularly despite being as thick as two short planks.

Why didn’t women appreciate strong silent types like me who were deep not macho? 

This short piece was written in a slough of despond yet offers a glimmer of hope that my fortunes were about to change.

TRACEY’S BACARDI

It started with a chat up line I’d memorised from a ‘how to pull’ tabloid article.
‘”Can I buy you several drinks?”
The girl at the bar looked bored and gave me a vacant stare that could be interpreted as ‘yeah’, ‘nah’ or ‘fuck off’.
“Maybe” she conceded.
“Please yerself” I said.
Act casual. Plenty more fish.
“Ok then, just one though”
“What’ll it be?”
“Bacardi and coke” Continue reading

INAPPROPRIATE CLOTHING

heels-at-the-beach2

High heels on a beach – not a good look!

Yesterday I saw two women wearing fur coats in a vegetarian restaurant – the classic brain-dead rich bitches for whom fashion and ethics are poles apart. The incongruous, not to say ignorant, dress made me think of other examples of inappropriate clothing and accessories. Here’s the list I came up with:

  • hot pants at a high mass.
  • a mini skirt at a nunnery.
  • a dog collar at a porn club.
  • a raincoat in the Sahara.
  • high heels on a beach.
  • a summer dress in Antarctica.
  • a dinner jacket at McDonald’s.
  • a nightdress in a day school.
  • jeans at a pyjama party.
  • overalls in a solarium.
  • a balaclava at a brothel.
  • a bullet proof vest at a peace rally.
  • a ‘fuck the police’ T-shirt in a court room.
  • a crash helmet on an airplane.