Tag Archive: Grim reaper


The Dance of Death from Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal (1957)

The Dance of Death from Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal (1957)

One of my favourite jokes about death is one I heard on the Dave Allen show. One man says to another “I’d like to know where I’m going to die”. “Why would you want to know a thing like that?” asks his friend. “So I’d know never to go there”, the man replies.

This has the same perverse Irish logic of someone asking for directions and being told “Well, I wouldn’t start from here if I were you!”

The harsh reality is that we are here and one day we won’t be.

The poet/priest John O’Donohue (another Irishman!) said that people are happy at funerals because they are not the one in the coffin  but this contentment has a limited duration. O’Donohue himself died suddenly in his sleep while on holiday in France aged just 52. The cause of death has never been officially released but it’s fair to assume that he didn’t see his end coming quite so soon.

We all calculate a life expectancy of at least 70 and, if we’re lucky, we might even sneak in two or three decades more. But most of the time the thought of  shuffling off this mortal coil is one that we put to the back of our minds. Continue reading

WHAT MAKES HOSING FUN?

What makes hosing more fun?   Is it:


(A) Thoughts of death

(B) A good hosepipe        or

(c) Jack Daniels

If you answered (A) or (C) then you already understand the words to Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy’s song ‘Death To Everyone’ where he sings:

“Death to everyone is gonna come /And it makes hosing much more fun”.

This lyric has always mystified me.

What exactly is ‘hosing’ in this context?

Turning, as you do, to Google I found that these words had been submitted to Word magazine as an example of rubbish lyrics.

Coincidentally, the author called himself ‘Steerpike’ – which is my alias on Last.Fm and E-music and would have been on WordPress too if someone hadn’t beaten me to it.

This rival Steerpike assumed that the lines were nonsense and that the Bonnie ‘Prince’ was guilty of making it up as he went along. The replies to his post reveal another story.

‘Hosing’ is, to put it bluntly,  another word for ‘fucking’!

Turning to the Urban Dictionary for further illumination, the word is defined as “the act of fornication with no regard for the pleasure of the recipient. Usually accompanied by alcohol and characterized by frenetic intensity”.

Apparently Jack Daniels is often the alcohol frequently chosen to assist this activity. The dictionary defines ‘Jack Daniels hosing’ as fucking which is “often punctuated by slurred expletives, fleeting visions of naked ex-lovers, and a grippng inability to recall the first name of the person with whom you are coupling”.

So it seems Will Oldham aka Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy knew what he was singing all along and as the corrected Steerpike sagely observed “washing the car will never be the same again”.

If by any chance you don’t know this amazing song, it can be found on BPB’s masterpiece ‘I See A Darkness’ & here it is from YouTube: