Woody Allen’s once quipped “I’m not afraid of dying; I just don’t want to be there when it happens”. This is a similar rationale that you also find in a corny joke I remember hearing, on the Dave Allen Show I think, when one man says to another – “I’d like to know where I’m going to die” – “What for?” asks the other. The man replies “Because I won’t go there!”
Behind this black humour lies the very real fear of the when, where and how we will die. These are not happy thoughts, of course, and for the sake of sanity they are questions most people (myself included) prefer to put to the back of their minds.
I admire the philosophy of my mother who at the ripe old age of 81 has just bought a new car and continues to plan holidays and excursions as if she had another 30 years to live (given her stubbornness and hardy constitution, who’s to say she’s wrong!).
There will come a time, however, when the inevitable must be faced and so I was moved by bravery of a couple from Berkshire, who this week chose to end their lives despite the fact that they were still in relatively good heath.
Dennis and Flora Milner, who were aged 83 and 81 respectively, wrote to the BBC explaining their decision : “we can no longer attain the desired and acceptable level to support an enjoyable and worthwhile life”.
Daughter Chrissy, who knew what they planned to do (but not when) gave a short and dignified interview in which she said that it was her parents’ intention to have a “good death” at the end of their happy and devoted life together. A BBC booklet ‘planning a good death’ is available but obviously the advice doesn’t include suicide.
UK legislation currently classifies any assisted suicide as a criminal offence. For this reason, many choose to go to Swiss clinics where it is legal. This option is only available to those who have the financial means and can come to terms to dying a long way from their homes.
The moral questions and dilemmas highlighted by the Milners story are huge, but , as Chrissy Milner says, there needs to be an urgent debate with a view to adding clear and rational legislation to the statute books. The work of the organisation Dignity in Dying is vitally important in putting pressure on the government and highlighting the plight of ordinary people who don’t want to end their lives in degrading and painful circumstances.
Image = Plate 37 from William Blake’s ‘Jerusalem’
