There is nothing that you desire that you cannot achieve.
It’s a nice thought, isn’t it? Why can’t we all be as happy as Doris Day?
According to ‘inspirational’ speaker, and author Esther Hicks, all that is necessary to reach your goals is that you control your thoughts and channel your energy in the correct way. This means eliminating negative ways of thinking and choosing to embrace positivity. I am simplifying of course, but this is the upshot of the highly lucrative series of books, films, essays and lectures that she and her late husband, Jerry, have unleashed on the world with the holy grail being the achievement of a “wonderful, happy, productive Life Experience.”
The underpinning message that comes with this territory is the observation that there are many who unconsciously create the conditions that make the achievement of lifestyle improvements impossible. The essence of what Hicks calls ‘The Law of Attraction’, is that we have been conditioned to distrust positive affirmations and pre-programmed to make do and mend rather than create.
Health, wealth and wisdom are probably three of the most obvious, and widely sought after, desires. Many idly fantasise of developing a magnetic personality to the point that intelligent, sexy and inspirational people will automatically be attracted to you. You can therefore fully comprehend why anyone who offers the promise of such a transformation will gain huge numbers of eager followers keen to discover the magic formula. Implicit in this philosophy is the, not unreasonable, assumption that everyone on the planet craves more power and control over their own lives.
The fundamental, and inconvenient, ‘truth’ Hicks shares for a price is that by sending out negative vibrations into the universe you inevitably attract negativity. By this token, our minds must be rewired toward the attainable contrary wherein, as The Beatles sang: “And in the end /The love you take / Is equal to the love you make”.
This all has a familiar ring to it. In 1952, Norman Vincent Peale wrote in ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ : “When you expect the best to happen you create positive vibes, which affect your mindset, your environment, and the people around you.” Put this way, it sounds simple and logical to effect meaningful change. But the fact that self-help books stating countless variations of this same message continue to top the bestseller lists is an indication that the path to happiness and success is a long and winding one.
Can complex problems really be solved by this kind of attitude shift? If a hundred people apply for a prestigious job, the successful candidate is going to feel pretty great but what about the 99 who miss out? Are they losers? Studies have found that while positive psychology can help some people achieve happiness, it can be harmful to others, leading to feelings of failure and depression.
The term “positive psychology” first appeared in Abraham Maslow’s 1954 book ‘Motivation and Personality’ and has been popularized by Martin E.P. Seligman who runs the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center.
As an antidote to this relentless embrace of feel good values, Julie Norem, a psychology professor at Wellesley College, argues that people respond better to negativity, an attitude she snappily calls “defensive pessimism.” She has written in terms of “harnessing anxiety as motivation.”
Although I don’t like gloomy people, I can definitely relate more to Norem than Seligman. I have always subscribed to the definition of a pessimist as a disillusioned optimist. I feel more in tune with people who don’t feel the need to put on a brave face all the time. I can never subscribe to formulas which amount to little more than versions of the banal mantra ‘smile and the world smiles with you’. Try this method while travelling on the London Underground and see how true it is. And how is this supposed to help when we’re wearing masks to protect us from Covid-19?
The hard truth is that narcissistic ego-driven individuals are the ones who are more likely to get ahead. Most role models suggest that it is not only cheery types with good haircuts who succeed in life. Ruthless tyrants gain power through corruption, lies and even murder. The law of the jungle is that good guys (and girls) very often finish last.
In saying all this, I am willing to accept that excessive pessimism or misplaced negativity is no way to achieve a lightness of being. If you are ill-equipped to ever look on the bright side and, by some chance, things begin to go your way, you will not be mentally prepared to take of advantage of the opportunities. Say, for example, you receive an unexpected windfall. If you are not open to this good fortune, you look for ways to explain this event as a mistake rather than receiving this with joy, you will feel undeserving and even guilty. Surely the money was meant for someone else.
Luck is often simply a question of identifying and seizing opportunities when they arise. If your mind isn’t open to such possibilities it has no means of taking advantage of them.
Ultimately, it’s all about getting the balance right. There’s plenty to be angry, depressed and pessimistic about. We don’t have to be positive all the time nor should we feel we have to be. This message may not be so sexy or sell so many books but that doesn’t make it less true. We can’t all be shiny, happy people like Doris Day.
Hi Martin – your friendly, yet generally cynical, British gloom-monger here. I have looked into this subject quite deeply – have you seen the documentary about ‘The Secret’? I think it’s on Netflix. There is a book, too. It’s got Deepak and the gang. As a (reportedly) miserable child, I was often told the old line ‘laugh and the world laughs with you’ & was read cautionary tales of girls who didn’t smile enough. These days I find myself strung between people obsessed with grief and those who peddle what is known as ‘toxic positivity’… the automatic response of ‘look on the bright side’ or to simply ignore glaring problems of current human existence. The grief thing is a kind of backlash, I think, to how we humans have been conditioned (in predominantly white society) to ignore and shun negative emotions. This sets up inner conflicts – and just because we make our negativity subconscious doesn’t make it go away, in fact I’d say it makes it worse. So we get more conflict and people having breakdowns, mental health issues… suddenly doing things ‘out of character’. Mid life crisis! There is no place for understanding or acceptance of our natural inner turmoil that is caused by what is a dysfunctional society. And now we’re supposedly all responsible for our lot because we made it happen with our negative thoughts and emotions. Of course this mentality will make people feel even more like losers. It is a sort of capitalist-inspired victim-blaming that further focuses our lives on the idea that we are all separate – the worship of the individual, the pursuit of personal gain and glory. And it’s yet more reason to live in the future, instead of living now – which is another expectation. Live in the NOW and stop thinking about the past or the future – yet somehow imagine yourself a better future. Well, the trick is to imagine your dreams are already here – so instead of being careful with money, act like it’s unlimited. See where that gets you in the ‘real’ world. Cos it’s not really real, you know – it’s all an illusion. You must train your brain to do these things that are practically impossible in the sort of civilisation we have created. Can’t you do that? FFS, get a life. Seriously – our brains aren’t designed for this and most people are too busy trying to manage their 21st century expectations to really be able to do these things. That is why actual monks abandon their families and go and live in ashrams & such – because real life is not conducive to sefl-inflicted mind control. Too much other shit to think about, innit. Seems like the best way to make money these days is writing books telling losers how to stop being losers – you can guarantee they will have to keep buying them. I’ve bought loads.
Thanks a million, R. Yours is not a gloom-laden response in my view, just a healthy recognition between what’s real and what’s make believe. I always loved the line in Steely Dan’s ‘Deacon Blues’ : “They’ve got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose”. The explosion of books telling us how not to be losers has now become a self perpetuating and harmful industry. Stop buying them! xx Martin
Oh I have stopped buying them & gave away what I had – it felt like an unburdening 😉