A is for ALCATRAZ
A must-see say all the guide books and they’re not wrong. An amazing slice of living history – the prison closed in 1963 – trip includes an exemplary audio guide . On the day I was there, a former in-mate was signing copies of his book in the gift shop, looking as if he’d be happier shut away in one of the cells.
B is for BERKELEY
Famous for the Cal university of course and you can buy t-shirts and stationary to fool everyone into thinking you are studying there. Telegraph Hill nearby has a couple of good book shops, notably ‘Moes’, but is anything but academic in feel – more Camden Town than Cambridge.
C is for CABLE CARS
At the terminals, queues form or, if you prefer, you can risk life and limb by squeezing in at one of the designated stops. Not designed for comfort but holding on for dear life is great for getting a feel for the hills.
D is for DOUR
The predominant mood of the locals when confronted by tourists struggling to work out which bus goes where and how the automatic doors work. Fools not gladly suffered.
E is for EXPLORATORIUM
One of those touchy feely isn’t science amazing places that do your head in after about half an hour. The big attraction here is a dome shaped tactile room where you pay extra for the dubious thrill of crawling , clambering and sliding through a maze in total darkness. At 6′ 1″ I found it a seriously uncomfortable experience and the tactile part for me consisted of clinging nervously to my daughter’s foot. She loved it!
F is for FISHERMEN
Not too many of these guys around, which makes ‘Fisherman’s Wharf’ with its brash frenzy of gift shops and eateries at a serious misnomer.
G is for GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE
Un-missable of course, and Blazing Saddles were raking it in with the genius idea of getting tourists to rent a bike to cycle across and take the ferry back. We walked to the mid-point which was good enough to take in the great views. The constant drone of traffic adds to the sensory thrills.
H is for HAIGHT-ASTBURY
I never did like the Grateful Dead that much but that didn’t stop me enjoying this hippy hot spot where they hung out.
I is for INCLINES
Put it this way – they should supply contour street maps for all visitors
J is for JOGGERS
They’re everywhere, sweating into designer workout gear to compensate for all the huge brunches.
K is for KEROUAC
Jack and the Beats were here and the historic City Lights Bookshop still is. Jack’s got a street named after him to prove it….which is nice..
L is for LOVING CUP
A small friendly vegan cafe in Chinatown with good food and earnest propaganda.
M is for MOMA
Super chic gallery space – worth visiting for the building and people watching alone but art displays are great too.
N is for NORTH BEACH
Justa lika home with gelatarias, pizzerias and expresso bars aplenty .
O is for OUT-OF-TOWNERS
That was us – even without a map in your hand, blending in is impossible.
P is for PANHANDLERS
Handwritten signs can be polite – ‘Down on luck – can you spare a buck’ – or blunt : ‘Give me a fucking dollar’. On Haight, one resourceful girl had climbed into a trash can and sprang up like a jack-in-the-box to startle unsuspecting pedestrians like something out of Candid Camera.
Q is for QUEERS
As numerous as joggers of course and fascinating to be in Castro where we straights were in the minority.
R is for RUSSIAN HILL
Where we stayed. Good location. High up. No riff-raff.
S is for SMOOTHIES
My daughter probably drank about 20 of these in 7 days.
T is for TENDERLOIN
Right in the heart of the city but circled as a ‘no – no’ zone by the dour hotel receptionist – a lawless zone by night apparently. We took his word for it.
U is for UNION SQUARE
The commercial heart of the city with all the charm and serenity of London’s Oxford Street on a Saturday afternoon.
V is for VEGGIES
Concluded that for all its hippy, counter-cultural history, this is not an exceptional city for vegetarians. In other words, it’s no better or worse than most big cities. There’s the very up market and impressive Greens and the Loving Cup (see L) but a large percentage of places made little or no attempt to cater for non-meat/fish eaters. So much for alternative lifestyle choices maaaaaan.
W is for WALKING
Recommended up to a point but the hilly terrain means going a few blocks away is more like trekking than strolling. The 7 day ticket for unlimited travel on buses, trams & cable cars was a wise investment.
X is for X-RATED ESTABLISHMENTS
None personally sampled but walking by day down Folsome gave an inkling that there’s plenty of seedy goings on after dark if that’s your bag. There’s also an all male nude revue appropriately located in Nob Hill.
Y is for YERBA BUENA GARDENS
Open air lunch time hang out for yuppies and the only ‘Y’ I could think of..
Z is for ZOO
I’m reliably informed that San Francisco has one but time ran out before this could be confirmed.
