The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry (Allen Lane, 2016)
Part autobiography, part philosophy, this book is a personal account on a complex topic. While not intended as a nuanced study of gender politics, artist Grayson Perry makes plenty of valuable points about masculinity and patriarchy with charm and humor.
He writes that “the male role in developed countries is nearly all performance; a pantomime of masculinity.” In the pantomime tradition, ‘He’s behind you!’ would be an appropriate all-purpose warning cry since we all know male villains like this. They are everywhere, men behaving badly who are unapologetically boastful or else surreptitiously hiding in plain sight.
For performing men, swaggering sexism has long been considered the norm. Challenges by feminists have shown them in their true colors, helping to show how patriarchy operates in practice. For instance, the recent #Metoo campaign has exposed the insidious sexual harassment that has been ignored or tolerated in many workplaces and institutions.
Given that he is transvestite (his alter ego is Claire), it is surprising to hear Perry admit to being fiercely competitive and having felt the pressure of proving himself as a ‘real man’. That said, his perception of manhood is far from conventional and he argues that vulnerability is central to men’s future happiness. By this, he doesn’t mean they should be weak or overly sensitive but, rather, that men must drop their defences more. In other words, they/we need to be more emotionally open and forget the conditioning that tells them/us that ‘big boys don’t cry’ .
Perry accurately points out how feminist critiques strike at the very core of male identity. Instead of taking these punches on the chin, most men raise their guard, hiding behind a shield of power and privilege. I know from bitter experience that finding male friends who are willing to discuss these issues involves navigating barriers of bluster and bombast.
But the wider subject of sexual politics is riddled with complexity and paradoxes. For instance, although enlightened women are turned off by mindless machoism, as the dime store erotica of books like ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ has proven, many are also turned on by the idea of relinquishing control to powerful, sexually primed males. This is one reason for Perry’s observation that “progressive men are confused.”
While Grayson Perry wisely avoids dwelling too much on the battle of the sexes, he does venture to suggest that true equality is neither possible nor wholly desirable. His views on sexual dynamics are lively and perceptive; he notes, for example, that “No one gets aroused by thinking about holding hands in matching fleeces while shopping for sofas or sharing childcare.” This sense of fun means that he brings an unpretentious, down to earth quality to a complex subject.
