You know of course - zees eez madness Daniel!!!
There is a rumour (started here and now by me) that when the star-studded cast were shown the rushes to Rob Marshall’s ‘Nine’ they campaigned vigorously for the title to be changed to NEIN!
For, make no mistake, this movie is a prize turkey of the first order!
Daniel Day Lewis was presumably lured by the chance to swagger about like Marcello Mastroianni and to romp with Penelope Cruz but the cost is that his reputation for choosing his roles astutely now lies in tatters.
Nine is a musical remake of 8½ , a Fellini classic from 1963, and is a movie treatment of a unfathomably successful Broadway show. Lewis was the main reason I wanted to see it , I certainly wasn’t drawn by the prospect of another musical from Marshall, whose ‘Chicago’ I loathed.
It’s hard to know where to start with this catalogue of woeful and offensively bad movie-making.
The plot is so wooden you could drill holes in it. The spectacle of women romping in lingerie like a team of lap dancers makes Italian TV look politically correct. The songs are universally dire with some of the most banal lyrics I have ever heard. Here are two examples:
“The music, the lights, and the laughter, The answer to what you are after.“(‘Follies Bergères’)
“Some men read books, some shine their shoes, Some retire early when they’ve seen the evening news. My husband only rarely comes to bed, my husband makes movies instead“.’ (My Husband Makes Movies’)
The final straw for me was being forced to witness an unforgivable revision of the scene with prostitute La Saraghina which in the original ranks as one of greatest scenes in movie history. In the remake it is presented as a brash ass slapping show tune where Black Eyed Pea Fergie sings a crass anthem to hedonism called ‘Be Italian’ which Berlusconi will probably adopt for his next election campaign.
It’s not often that I walk out of a film but I took advantage of the interval to escape. In the cinema where I saw it a teenager in front of me pronounced mid way through: “Questo è brutto!” (This is awful!) and , like the boy in the story of the emperor’s new clothes, he spoke the truth.
Here’s another reaction to the film by a critic from The Daily Telegraph:
